21..
The day is over... another year has gone by

Emptyness, the feeling of lacking... of receiving nothing in return... of not being as relevant as one supposses to be.

The feeling of having always to beg for everything. Those feelings cover me this night.

What makes one person important? why is it important to be important? the endless struggle for hapinness through giving and sacrifice... uncaring sacrifice? no room for being selfish? I am selfish, it is just that I can endure and pretend I am not, but deep inside I feel it burns///

A constant trial, and inside myself a combat... the real man and the man the real man wants people to meet; the real man, whom can't still find hapiness and will never find it, because the unreal man won't give him a chance... all is reflected and bounces against his invisible shield... protection... that's what everything is about... unneeded protection, a walled border that hinders expansion.

Now, in this 21th birthday, and just in yet another change point of my life in many aspects, I feel more than ever the urge of letting loose my instincts, the risk... the certain result, the man people loves, he won't be loved anymore?

It is time to rest... We are gonna start this year with discipline.